Utter Destruction

Death at 2547 3 Mile Rd STE C.

Today were the much awaited primary stages of vanberge’s single bachelor party.

Unfortunately, only nine of us showed up for paintball so we could not have even teams. I suppose that it worked out fine though as the pussy in the shape of a man, Tom, basically gave up after only a few rounds .

Actually, I was kind of surprised that most of the guys kept going back to the staging or spectators area between matches. I suppose that I am just used to playing with a group that goes game after game for hours. However, since we played in larger outdoor boards, the games tended to last quite a bit longer as well.

Regardless of anyone’s perspective it was a pretty good time. Although, I’m pretty sure Payner was not too pleased when I accidentally oblittereated his manhood from a yard away . Next time though, I think that we should go to an outdoor course, or one of the “urban” ones. I am pretty sure the place in Holland has an outdoor board, and I know that they have a pretty badass setup in a house, for that good old fashioned “room clearing” fun.

I am hoping that vanbergs can get his video footage of the event edited together into some kind of unholy homage to the event. I am fairly certain that there is some serious footage of sheer oblitteration.

Centuries after our forefathers raped the natives of their land, they have returned to rape our wallets.

Against my better judgment I decided to follow the party to the Casino. Unfortunately, my timing for the event was a little off. Since the van-van was only on 131 when I was in Mt. Pleasant, I decided to grab something to eat since I hadn’t had anything since breakfast. So, I snagged a couple pizzas that I shared with my dad and brother. I sat down to start watching the Notre Dame v. MSU game when vanlandw called to let me know that they were on the way to the Casino. However, I did not have my phone on me at the time, but I got the message not too long after he called. So, I pried myself away from the game to head to the Casino. I probably should have just stayed until halftime.

When I got the casino, I could not get a hold of anyone, because the ringers were pathetically inferior to the wall of sound that was boxed up inside the cesspool of debatchery. Eventually I caught up with them at the line for the buffet. I poorly timed my arrival as they were getting ready to eat. Unfortunately, I had just stuffed myself before going so the very thought of the buffet made my stomach turn. So, I found myself waiting them eat for a prolonged period of time while they betrated people, discussed food and bowel movements.

Eventually, a hour and half later they finished their meal and returned to the casino floor. After squirrelling around the slots for a while we finally set down at the 50-cent slots for a little while. vanbergs looked on, because he had already blown his load. The same fate would have waited for vanberge had a couple of the others contributed to the vanberge “flash in the pan” gambling style. I think the experience prove indicative of the “dutch legacy” or thrift. As all those who bore the burden of “van-names” completely obliterated all the money they put down.

I think that it if you figure in what flo and Tom won, everything broke out approximately even. But, that is just a rough guess.

Regardless of anything that happened today, I am very grateful to have a relatives house to stay at this evening so I did not have to go back to the hotel for some “just friends” spooning. .