By now, I’m sure that many of you are familiar with the Google Reader web app, that is basically an RSS aggregator which allows you to share articles from your feeds with your friends. If not, I suggest you check it out. Go ahead, I wait. Back? Ok, let’s proceed.
Every few days or so, I see that vanlandw shares another “how to live like a homeless person” article. These articles always seem bizarre to mean, because they always try to put a positive spin on something that sucks. Anyhow, Let me sum them all up in a nice bulleted list:
How to live like a cheap skate:
- This is a religion.
- You need to brainwash yourself into this set of beliefs. If you fail to so you’ll never be happy with this life style.
- Quell desire to consume. Do not make purchases unless absolutely necessary to insure your survival. The threshold is, if there is more than a 50% you’ll die if you don’t make an acquisition.
- Treat consumers as if they are of lesser intelligence. Since you are living a life of denial it is natural to resent those who obtain what you desire. So, it is ok openly be pissed at these people in order to let off a little steam, otherwise you’ll explode.
- Believe that wealth is only determined by the amount of cash you have on hand. Deny that wealth is actually the summation of your assets minus liabilities.
- Ignore the time value of money. As a reactionary response to the diminishing value of money you must horde as much as possible, with complete disregard to the fact that the money you hold continues to devalue.
- Become obsessive about your hoarding. Make it the primary topic of your conversations. And then, chastise people who are not interested.
- Die alone, because your spouse left you, and you disowned your children for being “financially reckless.”
5 Comments
The thing about a lot of these posts and even “self help” type writing is general is that NOBODY lives by these writings 100%. What I found I do is take one or two points of anything out of these and try to work with it. I read the 4 hour work week and the points i’ve taken away from it is how your time is more valuable then what you think it is and tips to migrate away from email. A lot of the articles I share out have a lot of common sense tips and maybe point thing sticks out to me.
I also don’t think it’s about living like a lonley hermit never spending cash. At this point in my life rather then buying every videogame, piece of clothing, food item skimp on some things then leave the city or buy something i REALLY want. In 2008 I will have taken three trips in three months something that would be impossible if I went out to eat five times a week, bought 10 videogames or treated myself to a lot of things i don’t need.
Your post was hysterical jja
you are Draenei Mage jjafuller
My parody was basically a reaction to the extreme position those articles take. It obvious that no human being lives like that, so I don’t understand why they don’t stick to what makes sense rather than going so far over board.
The whole basically boils down to moderation. There is no way that you can afford to by everything you feel compelled to buy. Therefore, it is necessary to focus on the things you actually want.
Perfectly said jjafuller this really is one of the best posts you have ever created.
I wish I knew what you guys were talking about.
Adam,
This entire communication is referencing vanlandw being very dutch (frugal, unwilling to spend money, etc.)