When I originally saw this I thought it was kind of depressing. Today, when I saw it again I realized how uplifting it is!
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Obama WordPress Plugin
In honor of the new President Elect of the United States of America, I have created a new plugin for wordpress. It has the following features:
- Increases WP install size to 87gb
- Increases WP memory footprint to 3.8gb
- Maintains a constant 20% load on the CPU
- “Donates” 60% of CPU cycles to moveon.org
- Sets your homepage to “change.gov”
- Puts an inspirational quote from former liberal presidents at the top of the page
- All pages trigger a popup requesting donations to random liberal charities
- DoS attacks “big oil” servers
- Allows anyone to register, and post to your blog
- and much more!
Relax
For all you Obama supporters out there, I think that MSNBC is calling this one for Obama. So, you don’t even have to worry about going out and voting if you haven’t already. This one is in the bag! You’ve nothing left to do but kick back with a cold one and watch the world go to hell. 
Biden Loves Home Depot!
On October 2, 2008 during the only vice presidential debate, Joe Biden, mentioned that he spends a lot of time at Home Depot. So, my question is, what the fuck is he doing there?
Furthermore, how is this supposed to make him sound more “down to earth.” Home Depot is the second largest retailer in the world. I suppose if you look at it from the perspective of an elite senator spending time at with a large corporation it makes sense.
If it was supposed to be a “roots” type of “I work with my hands” kind of things, he probably would have been better off saying he spent time at “the local hardware store.”
Regardless, I thought that statement was hilarious, so I had to point it out.
How We Play Football in Detroit
Dramatization of Detroit Lions Huddle after Green Bay retook the lead with a field goal:
| Kitna: | Good job guys. We demonstrated to ourselves, and to our fans that we had the potential to win this game. The Packers retook the league. Did any one takes spreads with their bookie this week? Or do we need to let them get another field goal? |
| Offensive: | (mumbled agreement) |
| Kitna: | Alright, we’ll do a quick three and out so the packers have time to get anther field goal. |
| Millen (over QB speaker) | KITNA. I TOOK GREEN BAY BY 20. YOU NEED TO GET THEM 20 OR THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKING BREAK MY LEGS!!! |
| Kitna: | GOODAMNMOTHERFUCKINGPIECEOFSHIT!!!
Alright, Millen is a fucking idiot. Guys we need to some how get the packers 20+ points before the end of the game. |
| Offense: | (collective grown) |
| Kitna: | I can’t fucking believe this. We’re going to look like pathetic tools.
Shit. Ok, here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll just throw a couple interceptions, and the defense will have to let them score. I’m not putting this shit on us. |
Inside the Huddle after Green Bay’s touchdown following the interception:
| Kitna (demoralized): | Cocksucker is afraid that the packers won’t have enough points to make up the spread. So we need to let them score faster. So–goddamnmotherfucker–I am going to throw interceptions on our next two drives here. And, everyone make sure DO NOT TACKLE THE GUY THAT INTERCEPTS the ball. We just need to get this done and get the fuck out of here. God this is embarrassing. |
Gotta love the Lions
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