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Apparently Hollywood churned forth a video game, or something of that nature.

Ultraviolet was not released to the press early. Typically this is not a good sign, as they know the critics are going to tear it apart, and by withholding the film they just make it worse in that respect. So, in typical critic fit they utterly trashed the film. However, it was not all that bad.

This movie could be best described as watching someone else play a video game. You start with an opening cut scene that tries to rapidly explain everything, or at least enough to get you started on the first level. Then, there is a long action sequence. Every once and a while you get a small cut scene with pretty bad dialog to advance what I guess is supposed to pass as the story.

There are some pretty impressive action sequences in the film. Well, at least when they have real people in them. The CGI sequences look like they are…well, out of a video game. I was pretty surprised by that. Actually, throughout the film, there is a treatment on the people too, everything is kind of off, it makes it kind of look like a video game cut scene.

The movie attempts to pass itself off as a comic book movie, despite the fact that there is not really an Ultraviolet comic book. So…I’m not sure what they were thinking there. During the opening credits, you see a ton of different comic book covers done by various artists that would seem to imply that the comic is something that actually exists. But, it doesn’t.

Most of the movie worked out as I expected. My only real disappointment was the story…or rather the lack there of. There are several cool ideas that are implemented in this work, such as “gravity leveling” and “flat space” technologies. I really think they did a decent job setting up a few bells and whistles for the movie, but they did not develop anything. You are pretty much just dragged through the action sequences. There is a story to be told here damnit, the movie just cannot do it.

One of my other expectations was that it would be Equilibrium with some bitch as the lead role. It really wasn’t though. It does have some action sequence moments that are reminiscent of Equilibrium. Unfortunately, it lacks the heart, and the better storytelling of the later.

The nice thing about this film is that it does not drag it out anymore than it needs to be. It rings in at a slim 1h 28m. So, even if you don’t like it, it is not like you are going to be hanging around all day. I would recommend checking it out in the theater if you have any interest in it, but don’t if you don’t. When it comes out on DVD is the near future, I might rent it to check out some of the sequences again, but I don’t plan on adding it to my collection.

Sometimes comedies are better off forgotten.

I think that I accidentally hit “Add” when I meant to click “Not Interested” so Better Off Dead magically entered my Queue. Unfortunately, I did not catch the mistake before it landed on my door step. I figured that I might as well watch it since I wasted a slot with it. Of course, it was an utter disappointment.

Everyone that knows me understands that I have a rather unusual sense of humor. According, regular comedies are not particularly entertaining. This movie was no exception to this rule. I would describe it as a “traditional 80′s comedy.” I checked on NetFlix, at it has apparently been well received among those that have rated it. I am not exactly sure why, because I was unable to draw any notable differences from other comedies of the era.

The movie starred John Cusack in his “prime.” Apparently, he has cornered the market on “loser” characters. The story pretty much followed the pathetic life a high school “normal” person. He is according obsessed with his lame girlfriend whom leaves him at the first opportunity that presents itself. Then, he goes through a slum of mock depression. However, he is such a loser that he cannot even kill himself properly. His family was an off color bunch that did not really add anything to the movie.

Apparently, he then developed some kind of relationship with the exchange student next door. Plausibility and connivence would rather troublesome. Of course, from that point on everything began working perfectly for him. I have always been amazed by how, in romantic (in this case light on the romance) comedies, things are so black in white.

The movie ends in a “dramatic climax” as (for some lame reason) the hero decides challenge the captain of the ski team to some ski off of some supposedly suicidal slope. Of course, he loses a ski and has to do the whole thing on one foot and win while he’s at it. Ironically, for threatening sheer death it all seem rather unmoving. I would have to say that this ending was put to shame by the uninspired climax of Airborne.

By this point, everyone has probably already recognized the fact that I am not not going to recommend this movie. However, I find it equally as likely that everyone has already seen it. It is old, and heavily over played. I think I saw that it was playing on TBS, or one of those rerun stations. Anyhow, if you have lived your life thus far without having witness this amalgam of comedy and film you would probably be better off to steer clear of it.

Well, this film found its way into my rental queue as a recommendation from one vanlandw. Granted, he has not seen the film (to my knowledge). But, I was just surfing around through the “those who liked this also liked” links on NetFlix and happened upon it. However, upon hearing a description of it, vanlandw decided that this was a “must see title.”

The reason for this idea was based around the premise of exposed breasts. You see, there were supposed to be a significant amount of them in this film. I am fairly sure that, that is what the “B” stands for in B movies. I would not be surprised is someone did a study and found there is a directly relationship between the amount of exposed breasts in a film, and the overall quality of film.

Now, this film was hardly pornographic, but there were a few breast popping out here and there. Well, there were plenty to make this a rather dreadful film. The whole thing was so goofy that I found myself laughing aloud numerous times. It was a much better comedy than, Better off Dead, and it was not even supposed to be a comedy. The dialog was just awful. Not to mention the “action.”

If anyone is up for a good laugh, I highly recommend this film. It is just a total joke in every respect. And, as such, it is quite entertaining.

Oh, and vanlandw, don’t even bother asking for screen captures again, I have already returned the film.

It has become apparent to me that “The Man with No Name” must be a distant relative of Jack Bauer.

I have already talked about, The Good the Bad and the Ugly, so there is not a whole lot to add about this title, as it pretty much functions the same way.

If the point of 24 is that Jack Bauer has no limits (except his family), then the message of A Fistful of Dollars is that violence is glorified by the hero when he is as amoral as the villains. I have been doing some reading around the web, and this movie seems to have had significant influence on the way westerns were made subsequently.

At this point, I really only have one problem with Leone’s films, and that is the dubbing. It is not horrible, like Godzilla, but it is far from flawless. As it is, it kind of makes you feel like the speakers are setup incorrectly, as they are off just enough for it to not feel right.

One of the funniest moments of this film was when Eastwood steals two corpses and sets them up in such a way that he starts a shooting war between two factions. It was a hysterical watch, it was kind of unbelievable that the side would fall for the trick, but they did. Oh well, what are you going to do.

However, on a side note, this was the film that spawned the notion of the gun fight where one side wears an iron “bullet proof” vest. The funny thing about that is, that in subsequent “stealing” of that idea, the iron worn is at least mildly plausible. You see, in this film, Eastwood wears what looks like a thin piece of steal like you might have found in a suit of armor. I know the idea seemed cool at the time, but there is no way that would stop a rifle round.

And, of course, this is a recommended title.

Apparently, George Lucas is completely insane.

The entire reason that I rented this film was because it is said to be the inspiration for Star Wars. I am not exactly sure how Lucas came up with the idea for Star Wars from this film, but whatever I guess. In the scheme of things, I don’t think it matters.

Hidden Fortress is a good movie. Granted, it is old, back from 1956 I believe. Also, it is in Japanese with delightful subtitles. Despite these limitations the story is very entertaining. All of the characters are one dimensional enough that you don’t get hung up on their character development, as it is much more about the interactions of the characters.

The story follows a couple of peasant from one kind of city state thing. The two other provinces are warring to the north of them, so they decide that can get rich in the war so they sell their homes in order to buy equipment to join in the fight. Unfortunately, they show up late, and are assumed to belong to the losing side. So, they get stripped of their equipment and are forced to dig graves for the dead.

Then, they escape somehow and begin to wander in a desert region. Ultimately, they both decided to return home going their separate ways. Of course, they both get captured and are once again forced to dig. Except this time they are searching for hidden gold. Eventually, all the captives rise up on defeat their captures. In the middle of the up rise they both cower in a corner.

They notice enough and say, “let’s die together.” Moments later they release that the battle passed them by and the flee the fortress.

While they are wondering around, trying to figure out how to get past the border to return to their homeland the discover a piece of gold in a stick. So their greed gets the best of them and they start cracking open all the stick all over the place.

They ending meeting some guy, and explain their plan. The rest of the movie basically follows them as they go with the princess of the defeated clan as they infiltrate enemy territory to get to the lower province. Many adventures ensue, and they pick up a couple of travelers on the their way.

If you are a fan of movies, and you want to see this movie that is apparently the foundation of Star Wars, you should check it out. However, if you don’t care about any of that it is still a good film that stands well on its own.