Archive for May, 2007

How could I forget to mention this in my last post?

As so many people have pointed out to me in comments, emails, and in person. I forgot to include commentary on, “emo Spider-Man,” “Goth Spider-Man,” “Lame Spider-Man,” “Disco Spider-Man,” “Mentally Handicapped Spider-Man,” “Icky Spider-Man,” and my favorite, “Saturday Night Fever Spider-Man.”

Anyway, as far as reasons, I think I got to distracted by the notion of Symbiote Spider-Man battling Morlun, so I forgot to mention this bit. But, I digress.

The look on that man’s face summed it up pretty well.

For all the young couples out there, always remember to check for black goo on meteorites that fall while making out in giant spider webs. Because, you know know when some of that goo might be a symbiote that turns you into a mentally handicapped version of yourself.

So, instead of having a cool, darker Peter Parker to go with the darker Spider-Man we instead find ourselves viewing a geeky, sexually arrogant miscreant reminiscent of Scientologist, John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. As a side bonus, he takes on a Hiteresque haircut. WTF.

If you want to see the “dark” side done correctly, in comic book terms. I recommend that you check out how it was handled in Smallville with red kryptonite. As everything that Clark did fell within they way he felt, he just lost his sense of morality. It plays out quite well.

Perhaps they will take this into consideration when they remake the movie in 20 years.

Not as good as Spider-Man, or Spider-Man 2 (the best comic book movie made to date), but still worth the price of admission.

Last Thursday, I went to the special Midnight showing of Spider-Man 3 at the local theater. I went in expecting quality, not understanding it was not going to be as good as prior films. But, first, let me express my biggest disappointment.

Before the film started, some woman in a bad suit walked into the theater, and demanded that everyone shut off and put away their cells phones. She warned that if one went off, or someone was seen with one out, they would be kicked out the theater. The reason cited, “we cannot have people taking pictures during Spider-Man.” Weak.

The first act of the film was done quite well. I would say that it was on par with the prior films. I ironic part of all this, is that this is before the effects extravaganza even begins. Not that the special effects were not amazing. The problem is that as soon as the villains are introduced, everything starts falling apart.

I am not exactly sure what the plan was, but there were way too many things going on in this film. Unlike the first time films that featured a single villain, this film features three: Green Goblin, Sandman, and Venom. Perhaps one of the biggest problems is that this does not allow for any of them to be properly developed.

For example, Dr. Oc is one of my least favorite villains of all time, so I naturally assumed that I would not like Spider-Man 2. On the contrary, his character was so deftly crafted that I loved the movie. In Spider-Man 3, they just did not have the time to pull that off. So, instead we find popular villains, such as venom getting the shaft and seeming lame.

Personally, I think the best thing that could have been done would to have been to basically just focus on the relationship between Peter and the “black suit.” I think an exploration into his grappling with his inner dark side could have made a compelling film. Also, this probably could have been worked in with another villain, since it would allow for the additional character development. For this villain, I might recommend Morlun, granted I know he is a really new character and the continuity would be way off. But, they don’t seem to care about messing with canon in the movie. And, I think a symbiote powered Spidey vs. Morlun would be a hell of a battle.

Sandman could have been cool. I mean, the effects for him were generally amazing (how can he cry water?), but his dialog was just awful. And, rather than developing empathy for him through development me, they just made him announce it through dialog. AKA, if your character is said, show it, don’t make them say, “I am sad.”

The whole Harry as the Green Goblin was a mess. He had an amazing battle with Peter. And, I mean amazing. Those effects were perfect. And then, Harry gets amnesia. Suddenly he is buddies with Peter again, everything is la-de-da. And then, a confrontation with MJ causes him to take a drink, then he suddenly the goblin again. Maybe this would not have been so bad, but the basis for his hating of Spider-Man was some old butler telling him he was wrong.

Venom…oh so they screwed this up. Eddie Brock was half baked at best. He was literally hollow, both intentionally and unintentionally. After Peter rids himself of the symbiote, Eddie happens to be there, and gets infected with it ASAP. And then, he proceeds to go into this whole goofy thing, where he joins of up with Sandman. They capture MJ, etc… etc… All these issues were pretty bad, but perhaps the most unforgivable was the dispatching of Venom. Both Eddie, and the symbiote just getting utterly incinerated by a random grenade lying on the ground. Ugh…

Despite all these grief’s, the film was still good, and I would recommend people go to see it.

Final Verdict: ****