My Birthday?

By Jeff | Published: 1 September 2003

Today (8/31) was my birthday. Nothing much really happened. Basically, my family decided that they wanted to go out and go “tubing.” It is just the process of pulling someone on an inter tube behind a boat. It was overcast and dreary all day long, but a plan is a plan, right? I opted to man the shore and take pictures while everyone else got pulled around. I have never been a big fan of “tubing,” but It was something to do I guess. Afterwards, I went to Blockbuster and picked up a few movies to watch for the rest of the day/evening. In a strange twist of fate I saw that they have a copy of Equilibrium for $15 with 25% off, so I picked up a copy. I also rented Wes Craven’s They, and Stranded.

In the year 2025 the first manned mission to Mars crashes, boredom ensues. I guess that this movie is foreign, from France, or some other God forsaken country. I didn’t know that when I rented it, I just thought it looked interesting. There were several copies available, and it looked like people were renting it so I thought I would grab a copy even though I had heard absolutely nothing about it. Basically, the movie is the long and drawn out story of the crew that gets stranded on Mars’ surface. They go through various stages of fighting, and denial. Eventually the group that gets sent out to die—so that some can survive—finds some kind of ancient Martian creation capable of sustaining human life, sort of. It wasn’t entertaining, but it wasn’t bad either. It definitely wasn’t Hollywood pacing. Sorry if I gave away the entire story and ruined it for any of you who are going to watch it. Ultimately, I give it a so-so rating.

They was just a kind of crappy horror flick I guess. It seems that in this one, there were some kind of ghoulish creatures constantly trying to capture children that suffer from night terrors. I guess that is marks them as children, then comes to claim them as adults, or some kind of craziness. The movie kind of had pointless “events just happen” sort of splicing together. There were a few side characters that had just enough development that you almost felt bad when they were taken, almost. Oh well, I guess that it was better than Jeepers Creepers 2. Well, at least it had better “shock” treatments. The picture would have been better had they used the alternate ending instead of the actually ending. Though, I suppose that would have been “over-used,” and they were looking to have a greater cheese value.

Is it odd that the highlight of my birthday was watching a couple of movies? I guess it shouldn’t be, know myself as I do. Looks like this is it for now, back to Equilibrium.

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I Have the Power[book]

By Jeff | Published: 31 August 2003

Thursday was the magical day that I finally acquired my coveted PowerBook. I must admit that thus far I am very pleased. It talks to my windows, and Linux boxes like they are its next of kin, and everything is working out just peachy. I would write a more descriptive version of what I have been doing with it, but that would take entirely too long. Suffice it to say that nearly every minute I have been on it, I have either been installing software, or tweaking it to be just right. I have already purchased a few programs for it, including office—which I am using now—and LaunchBar. LaunchBar is a fantastic program that allows you to launch any program, or webpage you have visited without using the mouse. Basically, you just press a couple buttons to open it, and type in the first few letters of what you are looking for. Then, bam! There it is.

Actually, on second thought, I just remember something that went as smoothly as sandpaper. During my initial testing everything out phase, I tried to get my Airport card to work with my Linksys router. This was not as easy a task as I thought it would be. After doing a substantial amount of research and trial and error I got it to at least see the router. Unfortunately, this required me to restore factory defaults on my router, and then enable upnp, though I’m still not sure why that did anything. But, at that point all it did was see it, then drop it, then see it, etc… After doing some more research on the web, and Usenet I discovered that linksys uses the 802.3 format via wireless (I guess) for conveying DCHP information, etc…however, OS X doesn’t support this, so it just kept dropping the signal. Ultimately, I discovered that if I manually assign an IP, and put in the gateway, dns, and all that good stuff, it works. This means that I have to use two different wireless configurations, one for school, and one for home. Luckily, OS X handles that quite nicely.

Yesterday, Alex, my brother, and I ventured forth into the Grand Haven cinema to see the horror that is Jeepers Creepers 2. Now, you must keep in mind that I did actually like the first movie. However, I did not think that the first movie was good as a whole. It was good in the since that the sum of the good parts was better than the sum of the bad parts. And, the sum of the parts was greater than the whole. Anyhow, the second movie didn’t have any of these complexities. I guess the briefest way to put it would be to say that they took everything out that was good in the first movie. This sequel had no story, no character development, and little personality from the monster. In fact, the monster itself was very cliché. The whole movie felt weak, and was very much a boilerplate horror movie churned out of the bowels of Hollywood. However, I came in with low expectations, so I wasn’t disappointed. I suppose the movie was worth my $6.25, but what it really comes down to is that this is just another crappy movie. Alex did not have such tender, and kind words that I have though. He had nothing but utter distain for this movie. Coming in, not having liked the first movie, I feel that he was bound to dislike this one. But, he had nothing better to do, and he did get a ticket that said “STUD” on it. So, that is something, right? I wonder whatever happened to Alex. I left him in the movie theater parking lot with nothing to do? Oh well.

I spent most of the day today getting my old Dell laptop ready for my brother to take to Ferris. Most of the setup was pretty basic, XP Pro, Office, etc…it was just time consuming. I do have to admit that it irritated me every time he asked me a question like “does it have a floppy drive?” And then, after I had everything setup, we had to get a printer, though I am not sure why he wanted to go with me since the only printer he was interested in was the shiny blue one. I asked him if they only reason he wanted it was because it “looked pretty.”

His girlfriend chimed in “that’s why I would want it.”

The whole thing was a wash; I ended up picking out the little printer/scanner/copier combo from HP. I think it was a something 1210. I don’t know. The main issue is that he is in a dorm, and he can’t have something bigger than a toaster oven. The price wasn’t too bad, and it should work out just fine. Unfortunately, while I was trying to pick a printer one of the Best Buy drones was trying to convince my brother to get a UPS for his laptop, because “you don’t want your power supply to be interrupted.” I am glad that he was wise enough to leave before I kicked him in the head. Anyhow, my brother is all set. I even put all kind of Grand Valley colors/logos on the computer, so that his peers at Ferris can enjoy it all that more. I was inspired to do that after his story of the torment he endured while wearing his GVSU football shirt. Ah the joys be being and older brother.

Hmmm…it looks like I am running out of steam on this entry. Hey, it’s 12:25 AM, which means I am officially in “birthday” time. Though that doesn’t really mean a whole lot since I don’t have any plans to do anything. Hmmm…indeed I really have no idea what to do, though I do feel like celebrating my birthday this year, for the first time in a very long time. I am not sure why, I guess I am just feeling festive. Hey, in a side note, it looks like East Kentwood beat Brother Rice 44-7 in the Silverdome…Saturday. I almost went to that game, I’m almost sorry I didn’t. Any day is a good day for an ass kicking.

Well, I imagine that I am probably pushing/exceeding a thousand words for this post. And, that really is excessive. In retrospect it would probably makes more since for me to post more, less often. But, then again who is policing me. I could just talk all day long through this bizarre medium and no one would stop me. Worst-case scenario, I get a bad comment. Then, the world will end, right? Egad, I am beginning to irritate myself, now, how do I warn myself with iChat?

Posted in General | 1 Comment

Falling into the Year

By Jeff | Published: 28 August 2003

Things seem to be shaping up as the week saunters along. I’m glad to say that my PowerBook is officially in the United States, well, not the continental United States. But, it is in the United States none the less. Also, in a weird turn of events, in my creativity class people were actually interested in talking to me, because I am C.S. major. That never happens. Unfortunately, none of these people were ladies. All the girls were smitten with the “bleeding heart” creative writing major. Who emphasizes in poetry, of all things. How cliché. Oh well, one day when the entire human race is enslaved by a collective intelligence fueled by technology…wait no that would be a bad thing. Now I forgot where I was going with this…argh, I completely lost my train of thought.

On a side note, I decided to let Wes use my spare router saving him some cash. That reminds me that I need to financial aid by Friday, bah. Wow, this post is nothing but and incoherent rant, how disturbing. Well, I guess it doesn’t really disturb me, but it probably should. Morale ambiguity is tricky business. Damnit; I still don’t remember my original train of thought. And, continually typing about whatever the hell crosses my mind doesn’t seem to help. I suppose I should curtail the effort before this becomes too long, because that would be utterly pointless. Oh yeah, in my creativity class we get to do our final project using photography, I’m quite pleased about that. Unfortunately, that wasn’t my main thought. It was just another side note. Well, it looks like this isn’t going to come back to me, so I am going to quit typing…now.

Posted in Rant | 6 Comments

Worst First Day Ever

By Jeff | Published: 25 August 2003

Angry Face

After the whole ordeal I faced last week, I seem to have lost some Financial Aid, because I “unlocked” it. It was locked for full time, but I hadn’t been able to sign up for the class to make it full time yet. It seems that if your financial aid is on hold, you cannot add classes, but it was on hold so I wouldn’t lose money until I signed up for the class. So, I unlocked, so it reflected my immediate part time status, so I waved goodbye to a grant. The bottom line is I have to pay $375 by the end of the week.

Financial Aid Mission Statement:

To prohibit the educational goals of students by efficiently masking “back-ass-ward” practices, and ineffectively delivering financial aid resources in an apathetic, untimely manner, and using technology in order to justify the difficulty of talking to actual people.

Parking, parking is why I even started writing this rant. Today was the worst first day of any semester I have ever encountered in terms of parking. I literally spent 50 minutes looking for a damned parking place. However, it is the firm stance of the university that “parking IS NOT a problem.” This has to be the reason they feel the needs to eliminate so many parking spaces every year. Apparently, having 0 parking spaces available while 100 cars drive around is not a problem. I cannot even begin to express my outrage for the situation. I mean, if I am spending over $5,100 in tuition, and other fees, should I be able to park ON CAMPUS. I did notice that there were a few faculty/staff parking places open in every lot, but none for us lowly students. Perhaps I am assuming too much, but it is very clear that schools are the only businesses that treat their employees MUCH better than they treat their customers.

So much anger…

Oh well, at least this semester I pretty much only have classes that I want to take. Hopefully, this will prove to be a good semester after the weak freshman start dropping out and give me somewhere to park.

Posted in Furious | 4 Comments

Worst Movie Ever

By Jeff | Published: 19 August 2003

Since the worst movie ever, Chicago, has been release in video stores across the nation, I have written this review in a desperate attempt to prevent as many people from seeing this autocracy as possible. So, read on with an open mind, and leave with a burning hatred for the tool of the devil: Chicago.

When I subjected myself to watching the film version of the Broadway musical Chicago, one thought stays in the crux of my mind: why in the name of everything that is good and holy did they start making movies like this? After doing a little research I discovered the last time poor audiences were faces with such filth was in the shady 1960s. Back when such maladroit pictures as Star! And Goodbye Mr. Chips nearly destroyed the musical genre. Apparently, modern moviegoers are much more forgiving, and readily embrace garbage as long as it is a spectacle. I pity people.

Chicago is a complete and utter failure, but is that really a surprise? Bob Fosse, who directed and choreographed the 1975 Broadway version, was never able to competently make a film of the show and rightly gave up. The movie is cursed with an inane storyline focusing on two 1920s showgirls who achieve stardom through their tabloid exploits including: “murders of passion.” The score was nothing special either, Kander and Ebb should be ashamed; they didn’t even get a single hit tune. Ironically, the only success that Chicago achieve in theaters was do to Fosse-like showmanship, and the (I hate to use the term) “star power” of the untalented actors who pranced around like fools who only created a contrived sense of importance and entertainment though utterly absurdity.

The ever flat and benign Renee Zellweger desperately tries to play the floozy of a showgirl, Roxie Hart. Throughout the whole picture, she never gets a handle on the part. She has proven that she is excellent at posing as an idiot, and misinterpreting the character. For example, when should be both savvy and confident she comes across weak and clueless. And, when she is supposed to be weak and clueless she comes across savvy and confident. Perhaps her musical skills scrap the line of adequacy, but her Roxie Hart persona is not helped by dress and make up that are reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe rather than the 1920s showgirl she was supposed to be. Irregardless of incorrectly dated looks, and a so-so voice, Renee offers nothing more than an utterly bland performance.

As much as it truly hurts me to say, Catherine Zeta-Jones was both more capable as a dancer, and singer than the flop, Renee Zellweger. However, this actress is still sorely lacking what it requires to be a star. Sure, she may give the appearance of a good actress. However, the role of Velma Kelly truly requires a powerful diva persona, not an actress. Unfortunately, Zeta-Jones doesn’t have the personality or magnetism that is required to make this role work to her advantage.

Billy Flynn is the sleazy-smooth lawyer who turns courtrooms into elaborate mockeries of justice, and killers into celebrities. Perhaps he is a not too distance relative of .hardware? Crap, now where was I? Oh yeah, the casting for this role was horrible. This part would be a delightful hammy bonanza for an unrepentant star, so, why exactly did this role get Richard Gere. I mean seriously, hasn’t have just been going through the motions on his films for the past decade. Or, am I wrong? Maybe I should just go point out my plot holes elsewhere. Wait no, back to Gere bashing. Even in his wonder years, or the decadent 1980s, he was never all that glitzy. Before I get too much hate mail for this, I will admit that he did try desperately hard to make this work, but the role sharply defines the limitations of his talent. Take a brief moment and imagine a zombie humming and tap-dancing, and you have a basic idea what I am talking about here.

The enormous vacuum created by the “stars” creates giant gaps that the supporting cast tries to fill, all with varying degrees of success. Perhaps one of more pseudo-interesting would be, Queen Latifah, in her role as a hard ass, crooked warden in the women’s correctional facility. Christine Baranski makes her presence known as an obnoxious reporter; unfortunately, she is on screen far too much and is a more believable character to the point that I almost believe the movie belonged to her. Poor John C. Reilly, Roxie’s puppy dog husband masters subtly, not unlike a black smith’s hammer to anvil. And, the forever irritating Lucy Liu or whatever the hell she is calling herself now, is a hostile heiress who kills her husband. She offers nothing more than usual, though she only has more of a guest appearance than actual part.

I guess that what I am getting at is that Chicago serves a lurid reminder why so few of these retched movie/musicals are being made today. The unfortunate lack of material and absence of talent equals a sum of artistic, and entertainment zero. Unfortunately, do to the undeserved success of this movie (damn you academy), I fear that theaters will be flooded with more of this garage in the not to distant future. Perhaps moviegoers will wake up, and there will be a revolution. One can wish, right?

Posted in General, Movies | 1 Comment